The Duckus Crusadus

CronoDroid · Post by **CronoDroid** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 10:16 am

Once again we are beset by the dastardly minions of The Obsoletus. Perhaps the most politically conscious and haughty internet community on the planet faces its darkest hour yet. For years, the community has seen the exodus of hallowed warriors and the birthing of new, disgustingly incompetent nubbins.

WELL NO MORE.

A few weeks from the vile Christian holiday, the legendary British Inquisitor Sir Duckus has begun a campaign to revive the souls of the olde combatants that used to grace this electronic entertainment service with their elite masteries. Already he has contacted the most fearsome Patty Rider, who exited the environment with a heaving of dismay, and attempted to similarly awake the Brood "I'm Terrible at Dawn of War II: Retribution" Wich from his unfortunate Steam Slumber.

So, before we finally bury this misguided, utterly depressing experiment from the hallowed studios of Microsoft Research, it has been decreed by the Ancients that we shall have one last, epic, multi-dozen player match involving everyone who ever made an impact in this game. The current administration will release the demons from their imprisonment. The Harold3s, the Tiger Fishes, the Jimmy Nighthawks, the Malicious Wraiths, the Blacks, the Guns, the Viruses, the Fragztacks, the Lobster Ghost Boys WILL ALL BE UNLEASHED UPON THE UNSUSPECTING POPULACE.

Long have we vigilant warriors stood by this relic of programming, this confusing, dramatic, almost incomprehensible strategy exercise. We have kept it alive for nigh on 13 years, long after it was proclaimed dead by the powers that be. We have seen drama, hate, political debates that have had no effect on the government of this country, new servers, new cores, cheese, useless factions, banninations, more drama, storylines, naked pictures of Spidey, Masta getting banned then unbanned, cheating, flaming and of course, epic games between the legendary commanders, games where pilots have dedicated countless hours in the pursuit of victory. Those were what made ALLEGIANCE the game it was. Where we put aside how bad we are at life to achieve moments of glory online. That is what made us come back day after day, to vanquish our foes and develop even cheesier tech.

So, a swan song. As much as the dedicated few try to hold onto this relic, we have reached the inevitable downward slope of decline. It may be time to say goodbye.

And what better way to do this then to have one last good, even, fair, fun battle involving the people who made this community, and this game the way it is?

We owe as much, those of us who have played this game when nobody else would. We had such good times, whoring noobs, riding Patties, quickifiring miners.

We shall celebrate it.

Duckwarrior · Post by **Duckwarrior** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 10:40 am

Blimey, I only asked you if you wanted a game.

Actually, I distinctly remember saying we ought to get some faces playing so the old bitch doesn't die.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsxDEZxOzWk

Broodwich · Post by **Broodwich** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:57 am

lol god damnit
FINE I WILL LOG IN TOMORROW, IF AND ONLY IF DUCK OR CRONO IS ON
preferably duck, hes better at commanding

link120 · Post by **link120** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:03 pm

oh wow
this is amazing

TheCorsair · Post by **TheCorsair** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:47 pm

snoooooooooze

Cadillac · Post by **Cadillac** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 2:38 pm

Desperate times indeed when we have to resort to calling upon ex-cons.

raumvogel · Post by **raumvogel** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:10 pm

You old boners suck.This will not stand! Get you're fat,lazy asses back here and fight!

Archangelus · Post by **Archangelus** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 8:41 pm

Im already jizzin on my pants.

CronoDroid · Post by **CronoDroid** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:01 pm

I would hope you'd be jizzing IN your pants rather than on them...that @#(! is hard to clean off.

parcival · Post by **parcival** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 1:56 pm

Epic is on!

(now with more boobs)