Those of you with wives....

that_bloke · Post by **that_bloke** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:13 pm

I want to leave mine alot, as in often.

I'm not sure why i don't really, we're not good friends now, and that is sad.
Obviously there's the kids to consider, and i'm sure they'd rather everything was nicey nice, but it's not.
I guess it's just inertia that keeps me here, but that can't keep things going for ever, as with Allegiance, there is drag in my house.
If i could just press a button, and be in a new place with everything sorted, i think i would.
It's just the process that i can't be arsed with.

Not sure why i'm telling you guys, except that my friends are her friends in the most part, and shucks who wants to pour their heart out infront of real people and get thought of as a pussy, even though i know my friends would all be very nice.

Anyone already been through this? how does it go? Also i'm not all that sober, so may retract everything tomorrow........

MrChaos · Post by **MrChaos** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:28 pm

You'll give her half your @#(!, and pay for the priviledge via the courts
She'll move on faster then you since your ex has the golden triangle
You'll most likely never live in your home again
Unless your could-be-ex is one of the those who won't be petty and vindicative, your relationship with your children will suffer and allot.
Even if she is a "good un" you will almost surely see them once or twice a week and a month in the summer

Its a great big @#(! sandwich you're about to bite into if you're the typical male. Im aware your not from the US so hopefully the courts over in merry ol' are more progessive but Im thinking no.

Disclaimer: Your mileage may vary, past performance is not an clear indicator of future gains, and I may sound bitter but I just may be right

that_bloke · Post by **that_bloke** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:33 pm

mmhmm,

This stuff i am aware of and fear. The best bit is, she thinks it's all fine. It's not fine, it's not what i want. It was, but it's not now, and i am too young (ish) to just sit tight and wait for death. But then again, maybe i'm too lazy / scared to do anything about it.

pfft,

MrChaos · Post by **MrChaos** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:36 pm

ok plainer

If you want to be a day to day factor in your kids life... Grow a set and make it better

Cause the chance for things to go pear shaped s incrediblely high

raumvogel · Post by **raumvogel** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:42 pm

I'd be nicer with what I'm about to say, but I've heard so much of this that I can't help myself.

Ha-Ha....you said "I do".

I know it's natural to pro create. In the old days you would continue to live together to avoid the embarrassment of divorce. At least no one plays that charade anymore.

My parents were divorced. My sister grew up and repeated their mistake. I didn't. Now she's miserable and I'm enjoying my bachelorhood as much as ever.

Malicious Wraith · Post by **Malicious Wraith** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:53 pm

Seems a horror story whenever someone talks about marriage.

When does it go right?

MrChaos · Post by **MrChaos** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:56 pm

Malicious Wraith wrote:QUOTE (Malicious Wraith @ Aug 6 2011, 05:53 PM) Seems a horror story whenever someone talks about marriage.

When does it go right?

All of my Great Grand Parents, Grand Parents, and Parents, got it right. Not so much for my Aunts and Uncles or childhood friends. Im thinking its luck of the draw my man.

HSharp · Post by **HSharp** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:03 pm

MrChaos wrote:QUOTE (MrChaos @ Aug 6 2011, 11:28 PM) You'll give her half your @#(!, and pay for the priviledge via the courts
She'll move on faster then you since your ex has the golden triangle
You'll most likely never live in your home again
Unless your could-be-ex is one of the those who won't be petty and vindicative, your relationship with your children will suffer and allot.
Even if she is a "good un" you will almost surely see them once or twice a week and a month in the summer

Its a great big @#(! sandwich you're about to bite into if you're the typical male. Im aware your not from the US so hopefully the courts over in merry ol' are more progessive but Im thinking no.

Disclaimer: Your mileage may vary, past performance is not an clear indicator of future gains, and I may sound bitter but I just may be right

Divorce is different in the UK then in the US, not saying it's peaches and cream on this side of the pond but it hasn't gotten to the outrageous give everything to the woman kick the man on the streets and still make him pay type of crap.

That being said it's not a nice process though can't really say I have direct experience as I've not been married and my parents are happily married but friends and relatives have and it sucks.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentciti...vorce/DG_193732

of course if the missus thinks things are fine that might not be doable. Maybe your just going through a rough patch, just try and remember why you got married in the first place (don't say drunk and in Vegas) and try to work through it before "Consider this a divorce".

However don't know you or your relationship or any of the other factors so maybe once your sober it might all be better.

Valiance · Post by **Valiance** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:19 pm

About your kids: I was much happier when my parents actually split than when they forced themselves to stay together to try keep my brother and I "happy".

Of course that's entirely circumstantial, but don't just take it for granted that staying together is the best thing for your kids -- in some situations a break is better than a fracture.

Broodwich · Post by **Broodwich** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:30 pm

it depends on the age of your kids imo. When mine got divorced i was 18 and was fine but i had younger siblings way down to the age of 4 or so and it hit them the hardest. It also depends on how your home life is and all that and i know everything is different for everyone else but thats my take on the kids thing