after opening a second support ticket and putting the words "I can't find any way to pay for this subscription" in the title, I was able to get support to convert the stuck subscription to a pay-as-you-go subscription so that I could move all of my VMs out into my current subscription. After much leap-froggery, I was finally able to restart the VM for the lobby, source control and build pipeline back up.
Long story short, we're back in business!
See you, space cowboys.