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Whilst the CIA have only proved capable of murdering a single president, MI6 has been hacking Al-Quaida websites and replacing instructions on building bombs with Recipes for cupcakes.

1 up to the Brits!

Shoulda been a poison cupcake recipe.

I'm picturing wannabe insurgents running back and forth from the kitchen and basement crafting things like this:






(click edible images for larger versions and HEREfor step by step how-to instructions)

that report is rubbish, compared to what intelligence services used to get up to - as a look at the military obituaries in the daily telegraph will confirm:

QUOTE On August 26 1944 he was one of a three-man Jedburgh team, code-named "Basil", which was dropped into France south of Besançon, near the Swiss frontier. His companions were Captain Robert Rivière, of France, and Technical Sergeant John L Stoyka of the US Army.

The team became separated, and their canisters – which should have contained vital equipment and a wireless set – were full of cocoa and propaganda leaflets. They had only their pistols and the clothes they stood up in, Carew said later.

He hid in the house of a schoolmaster, where he heard a BBC message on the local radio which told him where he could contact the Resistance. Their leader later recalled the anxious wait at their HQ. They had received a large arms drop, their map was marked up with promising targets – but they were in a foul mood because their special agent was missing.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and everyone in the room scrambled for a weapon. The door slowly opened to reveal a blond young man in a Harris tweed jacket and corduroy trousers, smoking a pipe. "Excuse me, gentlemen," he said. "My name's Carew. I dropped in this evening, you know. Got lost somehow." When the laughter had died down, he gave them the plan.[/quote]

The same bloke was later dropped into jap-occupied burma, armed with a seventy year old guidebook and a kilo of opium.



Our generation watches the x-factor

THE CUPCAKES ARE A LIE?!

Watch out MI6 CIA is looking at you!

Well, that is about par for the course for undercover ops. A german officer once described Intelligence work during the cold war as the last refuge of the unemployed and incompetent.

A good series though is the british Spooks, and some of the kit in there is rather lipsmacking to someone who had to improvise a listening device out of a tape recorder with sound detection/ auto rec feature

My favourite quote: "What are we, the engine room on the great ship of state? Oh no, more like the laundry room, cleaning disgusting stains from the officer's linen." (Harry Pierce) 10/10 for authenticity on that one.

One thing though I always like is when Hollywood runs a photo through a pattern matcher who then identifies the villain for you. An intelligence analyst would give his left eyetooth for that gadget. And sign over his daughter to a Muslim in arranged marriage.

Of course, then you also get an Intelligence service launching an investigation because a few adventurous people started a wanking club. I kid you not. Fortunately the records were destroyed, and my veracity shall forever be an F6 on that one. (FYI F6 means source unclassifiable, Information reliability cannot be determined.

Balmung wrote:QUOTE (Balmung @ Jun 3 2011, 01:46 PM) Of course, then you also get an Intelligence service launching an investigation because a few adventurous people started a wanking club. I kid you not. Fortunately the records were destroyed, and my veracity shall forever be an F6 on that one. (FYI F6 means source unclassifiable, Information reliability cannot be determined.

And now you've tracked down the club forum...............


Ahahahah

While the brave soul who volunteered to jump into occupied France in a Harris tweed jacket was, indeed, extraordinarily brave, his logistics officer should have been court martialed. Honour to his memory.

H.J. Giske, who ran one of the few turning operations of the 2nd world war on the german side that were successful, comes to the conclusion that the operatives were very well trained indeed, by top instructors, but the chaps at HQ were not, and thus repeated warnings that turned operatives gave to London in their coded messages went undetected. (H.J Giske, "Operation Northpole")

By contrast, an estimated 80% of german agents dropped into England were successfully turned by the English during the similar WW 2 operation Doublecross. The german national character does not lend itself to subterfuge. The hideous english accent cannot have helped either.

Valerie Plame Wilson, in her book "Fair Game", quotes a young CIA operations officer as saying "Operations that involve the risk the risk of diarrhoea don't happen" Now you know why Bin Laden took so long to get hold of.

The more things change, the more they remain the same.