sambasti wrote:QUOTE (sambasti @ Nov 13 2018, 04:32 PM) Real shame, it can be such a lonely experience. I just did a forum search to try and figure out when this happened and we both got emotional about the same MrC post on the subject.
Must have been something in the water during CDT! /s
No WONDER we loved Cadet so much!
QUOTE I'll admit that this is a little bit hyperbole, it should have read "basically dead if I stay". I'm lucky enough to have a good career and EU citizenship, so I have the option of leaving. That said, the medical care that keeps me alive is based on the acceptance of my condition as a valid medical problem. If the US gov starts beating the drum that it isn't I don't expect insurance companies will go "well we don't
have to but we're nice people soooo". California would probably do its best to protect me, but the federal government is a big important thing. I'd expect socially the situation would get a lot worse with time. The number of Elzams might increase. And it'd be stupid to think that defining me out of existence was just the start. The US didn't exactly say "black people are only 3/5 of a person, but no biggie let them do their thing".[/quote]
So a couple of things about the US system that are probably super confusing to people who didn't grow up with it (because they're pretty confusing to people who DID grow up with it AND with parents/educational systems geared towards teaching it):
States
generally have leeway in determining how things like insurance go in their state. For example, California determines exactly how much auto insurance you need to drive in California. This gets a little strange because Nevada can be like "you have to be covered for $9000" and California says "you have to be covered for $10000" and if you are pulled over in California with a Nevada license and have Nevada insurance, California has to kind of go "ok that's fine have fun." Recently this sort of thing has become a serious issue with Las Vegas putting some of its citizens on buses bound for SF where local laws allow for much better access to mental illness treatment.
Basically what's happening in the US right now is the US federal government is saying "you don't have to protect transfolk." There are some states (California being one of the best and most notable) which say "Actually, yes you do." This means that any medical insurance company which operates in CA has to, for its CA clients, obey CA laws. What will probably end up happening though is that if you seek treatment out of state (or are from out of state), the insurance company will go to the supremacy clause and be like "neener neener we don't have to pay." For non-surgical interventions this can be a hassle of course, but hormones aren't particularly expensive for insurance providers to provide so it probably won't happen there, and no one does the surgeries anyways.
Also, incredibly, most places I've been in California are getting socially
better about LGBT issues. Granted, I live in weird socialist utopia bubbles that aren't 99% white people and the one Hispanic guy they let own a taqueria. But even my conservative family is getting on the hype train of not being @#$%@#s. Online communities too. The old-hat Let's Play crew from Something Awful contains at least
two people who were superstars and recently came out as trans. PAMaster, Ragny, and I think there was another big one. I want to say Catsworth is some kind of not-cis. The resulting reaction has been incredibly overwhelmingly positive: sure some people like to @#(! on the trans LPers but for the most part the community's major voices are very supportive.
QUOTE The obvious thought then is: "well you wouldn't have care but just going back in the closet won't actually kill you", and the answer is "no it definitely will". I think one thing that's often missed by allies and @#$%@#s alike is just how $#@!ing devastating being trans can actually be. Close to 50% of trans people have tried to kill themselves. And those surveys only poll the survivors. It's a mental experience that's hard to describe, but this is the closest I've found (but still an incomplete oversimplification): Imagine you're at a fancy cocktail party and everyone is dress really nice, but you're there in dirty smelly old rags. You know the deep awkwardness and shame that you would feel? The discomfort in your own skin? Imagine that, but every second of every day of your life. The only proven way to alleviate the feeling is transitioning. When that stops being a viable option, it's fight or die for me.[/quote]
It is insanely difficult to describe the pervasive and endless dread that comes from being trans, and it's frankly incredible to me how many people choose to be @#$%@#s about it. Suicide is never particularly far from my mind as the easier option.
current version r158 new beta as of jan 23 2012
