Wisconsin

Post by **BlackViper** » Wed Jul 11, 2007 6:43 pm

Pure coincidence a client forwarded this to me just now. Worth a chuckle.

JEFF FOXWORTHY ON WISCONSIN

IF YOU CONSIDER IT A SPORT TO GATHER YOUR FOOD BY
DRILLING THROUGH 38
INCHES OF ICE AND SITTING THERE ALL DAY HOPING THAT
THE FOOD WILL SWIM BY, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU MAY NOT HAVE ACTUALLY EATEN IT, BUT YOU HAVE
HEARD OF "HEAD
CHEESE", YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO SAY OCONOMOWOC, WAUKESHA ,
MENOMONEE, MANITOWOC ,
AND LAC DU FLAMBEAU, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOUR IDEA OF A TRAFFIC JAM IS TEN CARS WAITING TO
PASS A TRACTOR ON
THE HIGHWAY, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU KNOW SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO HAVE HIT DEER MORE
THAN ONCE, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU OFTEN SWITCH FROM "HEAT" TO "A/C" IN THE SAME
DAY, AND BACK
AGAIN, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU CAN DRIVE 65 MPH. THROUGH 2 FEET OF SNOW
DURING A RAGING
BLIZZARD, WITHOUT FLINCHING, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN
WISCONSIN .

IF YOU INSTALL SECURITY LIGHTS ON YOUR HOUSE AND
GARAGE
AND LEAVE BOTH UNLOCKED, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN

IF YOU THINK OF THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS AS BEER, FISH,
AND VENISON, YOU
MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU CARRY JUMPER CABLES IN YOUR CAR AND YOUR WIFE
OR GIRLFRIEND KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM, YOU MIGHT LIVE
IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU DESIGN YOUR KID'S HALLOWEEN COSTUME TO FIT
OVER A SNOWSUIT, YOU
MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF DRIVING IS BETTER IN THE WINTER BECAUSE THE
POTHOLES ARE FILLED WITH
SNOW, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN.

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO POLKA, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN
WISCONSIN

IF YOUR IDEA OF CREATIVE LANDSCAPING IS A STATUE OF
A DEER NEXT TO YOUR
BLUE SPRUCE, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN.

IF YOU GO OUT FOR A FISH FRY EVERY FRIDAY, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOUR 4TH OF JULY PICNIC WAS MOVED INDOORS DUE TO
FROST, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THESE JOKES,
AND YOU FORWARD THEM TO ALL YOUR WISCONSIN FRIENDS,
YOU DO LIVE IN WISCONSIN

Cadridorn · Post by **Cadridorn** » Wed Jul 11, 2007 10:00 pm

/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":lol:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Spot on BV... Spot on.

Favorites were hitting more than one deer and 65 through a blizzard. /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

Terralthra · Post by **Terralthra** » Wed Jul 11, 2007 10:11 pm

FreeBeer wrote:QUOTE (FreeBeer @ Jul 11 2007, 07:15 AM) And how many CA highways are subject to the deep-freeze/thaw cycles and sand/salt combos that WI highways need be subject to? You warm-weather guys....

Terralthra wrote:QUOTE (Terralthra @ Jul 11 2007, 07:21 AM) Gee, maybe the ones next to the ocean? It does tend to be full of salt. Also, there is sand nearby!

Cadridorn wrote:QUOTE (Cadridorn @ Jul 12 2007, 03:48 AM) how that comment has anything to do with road condition is beyond me...

...

Cadridorn wrote:QUOTE (Cadridorn @ Jul 12 2007, 03:48 AM) Secondly the whole "I-39, I-94, I-90 thing" I've stated already what that deal is.. I-94 and I-90 HAVE TO GO AROUND LAKE MICHIGAN.
and they merge with I-39 only briefly to head south for a bit. I-94 and I_90 split up again in Michigan.. Man those crazy road builders... what will they come out with next.
"OMGWTFZORS these freeways are all going the same direction.. how in gods name am I going to know where I'm going?!"

If you think the merging of freeways is confusing to you.. lord help you if you ever need to visit the city of Waukesha.

Glad you like cali. Good for you.
Be safe. Stay there. Otherwise us crazy beerswiling wisconsinites may getcha!
futher debate = none..

I was at no point confused. I was astonished at the sheer stupidity of the road designators who worked in Wisconsin.

Allow me to draw you a parallel, and maybe you can tell me if you still think it's a good idea.

Which of these makes more sense?

A)

or

Armisis · Post by **Armisis** » Wed Jul 11, 2007 10:56 pm

That doesn't quite look like a parallel to me. You can't compare city streets to interstates/highways. Are you suggesting that 90 and 94 be renamed to 39 for those couple hundred miles that they all merge? What about the poor bastards travelling from the east to the northwest coast wondering where their interstate went? Should their directions read take 90 to 39, then 39 to 90?

Terralthra · Post by **Terralthra** » Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:01 am

I'm saying it should be the xxx to the 90 to the 39, or the 39 to the 90 to the xxx. Directions that say "Turn onto 39, then turn onto 39, then turn onto 39," should never happen.

schadenfreud · Post by **schadenfreud** » Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:10 am

You can all stop talking about Wisconsin now.

Everyone knows that Wisconsin is FAR inferior to South Dakota. We have corn!

/drinks a PBR

Post by **BlackViper** » Thu Jul 12, 2007 12:57 am

PBR - Milwaukee /tongue.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":P" border="0" alt="tongue.gif" />

fuzzylunkin1 · Post by **fuzzylunkin1** » Thu Jul 12, 2007 1:58 am

BlackViper wrote:QUOTE (BlackViper @ Jul 11 2007, 01:43 PM) Pure coincidence a client forwarded this to me just now. Worth a chuckle.

JEFF FOXWORTHY ON WISCONSIN

IF YOU CONSIDER IT A SPORT TO GATHER YOUR FOOD BY
DRILLING THROUGH 38
INCHES OF ICE AND SITTING THERE ALL DAY HOPING THAT
THE FOOD WILL SWIM BY, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU MAY NOT HAVE ACTUALLY EATEN IT, BUT YOU HAVE
HEARD OF "HEAD
CHEESE", YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO SAY OCONOMOWOC, WAUKESHA ,
MENOMONEE, MANITOWOC ,
AND LAC DU FLAMBEAU, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOUR IDEA OF A
TRAFFIC JAM IS TEN CARS WAITING TO
PASS A TRACTOR ON
THE HIGHWAY, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU KNOW SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO HAVE HIT DEER MORE
THAN ONCE, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU OFTEN SWITCH FROM "HEAT" TO "A/C" IN THE SAME
DAY, AND BACK
AGAIN, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU CAN DRIVE 65 MPH. THROUGH 2 FEET OF SNOW
DURING A RAGING
BLIZZARD, WITHOUT FLINCHING, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN
WISCONSIN .

IF YOU INSTALL SECURITY LIGHTS ON YOUR HOUSE AND
GARAGE
AND LEAVE BOTH UNLOCKED, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN

IF YOU THINK OF THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS AS BEER, FISH,
AND VENISON, YOU
MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU CARRY JUMPER CABLES IN YOUR CAR AND YOUR WIFE
OR GIRLFRIEND KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM, YOU MIGHT LIVE
IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU DESIGN YOUR KID'S HALLOWEEN COSTUME TO FIT
OVER A SNOWSUIT, YOU
MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF DRIVING IS BETTER IN THE WINTER BECAUSE THE
POTHOLES ARE FILLED WITH
SNOW, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN.

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO POLKA, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN
WISCONSIN

IF YOUR IDEA OF CREATIVE LANDSCAPING IS A STATUE OF
A DEER NEXT TO YOUR
BLUE SPRUCE, YOU MIGHT LIVE IN WISCONSIN.

IF YOU GO OUT FOR A FISH FRY EVERY FRIDAY, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOUR 4TH OF JULY PICNIC WAS MOVED INDOORS DUE TO
FROST, YOU MIGHT
LIVE IN WISCONSIN .

IF YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THESE JOKES,
AND YOU FORWARD THEM TO ALL YOUR WISCONSIN FRIENDS,
YOU DO LIVE IN WISCONSIN

I'm forwarding this /ninja.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":ninja:" border="0" alt="ninja.gif" />

Rand0m_Numb3r · Post by **Rand0m_Numb3r** » Thu Jul 12, 2007 11:34 pm

Wow all of that is true of either my family or my uncle dave short of polka im not even sure what it is short of dancing i believe beer is involved

If 3 interstates merging confuses you DO NOT DRIVE DOWNTOWN MADISON

i had a chance to look at head cheese once and could have eaten it but yea looked like clear jello with well pig head parts in it mmm tasty tasty cheese im not going to eat, ever

we have corn and cows and so dose minnesota we also have strange names for lakes

fuzzylunkin1 · Post by **fuzzylunkin1** » Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:53 am

Rand0m_Numb3r wrote:QUOTE (Rand0m_Numb3r @ Jul 12 2007, 06:34 PM) . . . we also have strange names for lakes

Most of them are just from the Native Americans aren't they?

EDIT:

Oh! Wisconsin has over 1600 snow plows in 72(is this the right number?) counties ready to respond to any snowstorm. What do you have /mrgreen.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="mrgreen.gif" />.