Allegiance was fun, but I stopped.

[Ghost of Blue]

I first got into Allegiance at around 2000, after a good friend mine purchased a copy. He and I used to do Age of Empires on the old MS Gaming Zone. It was a lot of fun. But you can only play a game for so long, and so we both stretched out horizons. One of his finds was this game. Allegiance.

We played on the free servers for a log time until the paid servers were opened up to the public. Allegiance was great. It was a whole new ball game. I tried to get my friend into playing Star Wars X-Wing Alliance, but even though it was a Star Wars game, the graphics and multiplayer gaming experience just weren't as fun. Allegiance wasn't Star Wars. It didn't have the movie going for it, nor the cool soundtrack, but it was fun.

My friend and I parted ways. I was going through a hard time, and simply lost contact with him. Years later, in 2010, I was happily reunited with him, and appropriately enough, it was on one of the Allegiance game servers. We reconnected via Facebook too. I couldn't be happier.

But, as I played Allegiance and a couple of other games, I felt like I was being harassed. And I doubt it was coming from any of the regular pilots, but from private security that signed up for the game.

Explanation;
In 2000 I lost my temper on southbound 280, a freeway on the peninsula that connects San Francisco with Silicon valley (San Jose, Milpitas, etc.). I was suffering from severe depression, and was angry with racers abusing the roads It wasn't a smart thing to do, but I did it. And, from that point on I was harassed to seek treatment from all the places I used to frequent. After I did, the harassment got worse and personal.

It got so bad that I nearly blew my head off with my father's old revolver. I loaded it, stuck the barrel in my mouth, and came within a hair's breath of pulling the trigger.

I didn't.

I turned in the weapon, and quit my job hopefully to move back into my old career of working on films and video. But the harassment continued. It varried. From personal remarks by private security who were monitoring my net activity. Why they did it, I don't know. But, I was perpetually asked by a "new friend" (who I'll let be nameless for the sake of the agreement to use this BBS) if I had ever caused an accident.

I never have.

But everytime I left the house in an angry state, someone in a crewcut would cut me off on the road, or drive around me several times. I thought it was the police, and didn't know what to do. I tried filing complaints with the police and with the CHP (California Highway Patrol), and when I called the CHP the first time I got a bunch of Indians on the other end of the line claiming to be the local CHP office. I called the district office and contacted the Department of Justice for the state of California. I even wrote a letter of complaint to the Federal DOJ Inspector General, and that put an end to it, although they claim there was no wrong doing.

In short, here's what happened. There were a number of accidents that occured on the two main arteries along the peninsula in the SF Bay Area on 101 and 280. I, like others, were angry and frustrated with racers abusing the road and causing these accidents. I tapped my breaks one time to get one of these drivers to slow down, and nothing happened other than they were PO'd at me. But, I was perpetually asked if I had ever caused an accident, and was harassed on the road after that event. AND, it only stopped when I brought it to the attention of Federal Law Enforcement.

The harassment I experienced on game servers was an extension of what I experienced.

I can't say for certain that veteran players weren't in on it, though I'd like to think they weren't, and, if they were contacted and asked to "participate" by keeping an eye out or actively engaging in harassment, then I'd like to think that most of the real veteran players here would beg off. But, I don't know that, though I'm not going to level any accusations.

And, to be honest, it wasn't just Alletgiance where I experienced the harassment, but, like I say, it occurred on other games.

Every job I've been on since I sought treatment for depression, I was surrounded by private security and health workers. And even though the economy was booming, I was intentionally denied the simpleist of jobs. As such, I am now $500 away from bankruptcy, and my home of thirty years that my family left me, is going to be foreclosed on.

You figure it out.

I loved playing Allegiance. And I'm sorry I brought my personal troubles to such a fine game and community. But I was forced to ditch it.

Keep your Gat-3s frosty, and don't forget to drag a scout with you when you're in your heavy-int.

Thanks for reading.

[vogue]

what the flying $#@!

[minigun]

So is allegiance good for mental health or bad?
2 weeks ago, raum and me were fig bombing a base...only problem was, we were in scouts. didn't
realize it until dome said something on mumble. shortly after that, I managed to get a missle off before
i died and killed the sy. dome went from not happy to utter happiness in a short time.

[SgtMajor]

After years of injecting mari-allegiance this is what the current blake420 looks like

[MrChaos]

Holmes stress does wierd things to one's equilibrium and with the kind of RL stuff happening to you currently Fonzie would be having trouble maintaining his cool.
Your money worries is not an inevitable path that it seems like at the moment.
They need to be handled and you have to be at the top of your game to get the best possible result.
I'd go seek professional help of both a lawyer and physican.
The first is because they are the experts in law and the second to make sure that your bouts of depression don't effect your judgement
If you leave Allegiance will be here, TE and pkk willing, when you're ready to comeback

MrChaos

edit:
Fonzo -> Fonzie (Fonzo... really Fonzo maybe I need to lay off the XMas booze)
Your -> You're

[Mastametz]

Leave him be.
I just emailed TE.

[Ghost of Blue]

QUOTE (MrChaos @ Dec 26 2012, 08:36 AM) Holmes stress does wierd things to one's equilibrium and with the kind of RL stuff happening to you currently Fonzie would be having trouble maintaining his cool.
Your money worries is not an inevitable path that it seems like at the moment.
They need to be handled and you have to be at the top of your game to get the best possible result.
I'd go seek professional help of both a lawyer and physican.
The first is because they are the experts in law and the second to make sure that your bouts of depression don't effect your judgement
If you leave Allegiance will be here, TE and pkk willing, when you're ready to comeback

MrChaos

edit:
Fonzo -> Fonzie (Fonzo... really Fonzo maybe I need to lay off the XMas booze)
Your -> You're

Well, ironically enough things got worse after I sought treatment.

Here's the sequence of events, and, without naming names, what happened, and what I've gone through for seven years now.

In 2001, on Mother's Day, I tapped my breaks on southbound 280 near Page Mill Road to get a white Toyota that was weaving through traffic to slow down.

I continued down to Fry's Electronics, then went across the bay to a boating store that sold parts for an old Sunshish sailboat I own.

When I got home everyone was starring at me as I drove down the narrow lane to my house. I thought there would reprecussions for what I had done, and steeled myself for a visit from either the Redwood City Police, San Mateo County Sheriff's Department, or the California Highway Patrol.

Nobody ever came, nor called, nor left a note on the door, or otherwise tried to contact me.

But, I was suddenly experiencing angry drivers. One lady yelled at me after she stepped on her breaks in front of me at a red light on El Camino at San Carlos Avenue.

A few weeks later, on El Camino, at around 9:00PM at night, a Winnebago tailgated me, then zoomed around me, and drove in front of me. Again, this occured near San Carlos Avenue, approximately a mile north of the Sheriff's office for San Mateo County.

There were several other minor incidents like that. Including a group of gamers I used to meet with every two weeks.

It was sporadic, and I just wrote it off as jerk drivers, but like incidents really became more frequent, and it became clear to me that this was not coincidence.

In 2005 I went back to school, San Francisco State University to finish my film degree. There, in my classes, I was surrounded by groups of people who seemed to have my psychological well being at hand. It only made me that much more upset and angrier.

During spring break of that year I scheduled an appointment with the Chief of the Foster City Police department, who was an old acquaintance of mine. I told him my situation of how I had depressive issues, and how I suspected that either he, his department, or someone else might be interested in me.

I thought that was the end of it as I promised him to to make an appointment with my old therapist whom I saw when my mother passed away years before. He referred me to a psychiatrist, and I was placed on antidepressants while I vented my spleen.

In the meantime I was still surrounded by people at SF State and at Work (Barnes and Noble in San Bruno) who again tried to keep me happy. It was weird and insulting, and only angered me more.

I figured this would end by the end of the Fall Semester at SF State, but it has lasted for seven years.

My email has been read, my net activity tracked, monitored and restricted. My personal life was commented on at work.

In short, I was treated like a prisoner on the job.

I've had 12 jobs in the last seven years, and have filed complaints with the California Department of Consumer Affairs, as well as the Department of Justice.

Currently I am waiting for a return phone call from the state Capitol in Sacramento, and am hopeful that the distrcit supervisor will take action.

I have also spoken with the District Attorney for the County of San Mateo, and have appraised everyone of my circumstance.

But, during that time, I was harassed playing Allegiance, NOVALOGIC's Joint Ooperation Servers, and, more recently playing Battlefield 2142. Although I must say the harassment on the Battlefield servers has been scaled down considerably.

The harassment I've experienced for seven years, again including suffering comments on Allegiance servers, and not just the usual pilot banter, brought me to the edge of suicide.

I've seen doctors. I've spoken with officials. And I am fairly sure that chips are going to fall for the people who participated in this.

I have never caused an accident. I have never hurt anyone in my entire life. I am not a man who shoots up schools nor his workplace. Nor am I prone to violence against my fellow man. But, that's how I'm treated everywhere I've been.

I predict it will stop pretty soon through official action.

Thanks.

[Mastametz]

QUOTE (Ghost of Blue @ Dec 26 2012, 08:02 AM) In 2001, on Mother's Day, I tapped my breaks on southbound 280 near Page Mill Road to get a white Toyota that was weaving through traffic to slow down.

I continued down to Fry's Electronics, then went across the bay to a boating store that sold parts for an old Sunshish sailboat I own.

When I got home everyone was starring at me as I drove down the narrow lane to my house. I thought there would reprecussions for what I had done, and steeled myself for a visit from either the Redwood City Police, San Mateo County Sheriff's Department, or the California Highway Patrol.

What happened after you "tapped" your brakes? Did the white Toyota crash? Why would you expect a visit from the police? Why would your neighbors seem concerned? How could they know about it?

[HSharp]

I blame Nuke for the Allegiance paranoia.

[Cadillac]

I see people ...